" You said you hate my suffering,and you understood,and you would take care of me,you
said you would be there,but where are you now?"



"And i sing and sing of awful things,the pleasure
that my sadness brings."


So im just lying around there for you,lying there
for when your aching and trembling.People love and hate,some dont get anything.But i desire,and try to
grasp a something far from my reach.And you think im a waste,and your probably right.But atleast you will know
what occurs in this mind.There is nothing for me,just this burden i keep carrying on.And maybe theres someone still thinking of me.Or a letter waiting for me.Yeah,i had kept this from you,but not anymore.
Im certain of this,when I am not certain of anything.
You will always stay here,in this mind.So I stay awake these nights,writing what this would entail.And i anticipated a day with you,and i night to dream.Your words are in me.Just leave me responsible,and ill leave you the thought of what this love could be.

How people love to rate you on a top eight?
Sad souls
Sad fouls
You dont know me at all
Please judge
No dont
Its all the same shit to you
Ill take you off
Cause im not on yours
Let me take you out of my life
Cause it seems i was never in yours
Pathetic.
Jouveneil.
Apathetic.
Its this mind plainy mockery
of a person
to think your honest and real
The conflicts one has spreads
like a sickness to a race

Lets think.

So will you look for me in that strange, bright place.
Where the statues bloom in the park.
They don't need no rain.

Because how I ever got to you I have no idea.
It's like some secret door, well it just appeared.
So, no matter what I do from now on with my time.
you will always stay here in my mind. I am
certain of this and I am not certain of anything.

So I want to get myself attached to something bolted down,
So that these winds of circumstance won't keep blowing me around.
To when I land to when I leave there is enough time to sleep and sing.
I keep running when all I want is to lay motionless.

Its alot to take in.


<3

Bonjour,Je mappalle Ashley.
Comment ca va?


So the names Ash.
I know my quirks dont help much.
And i really like to help others
even though my full span for anger is
not very resistant.
I am a paranoid person.
I can never sleep without a blanket.
I will be making a wish list soon
of things i want to accomplish.
I hate the feelings of boredom,
the rain breaks my outlooks on
trying to look nice for others and myself.
I hate facades.
I hate Greenday.
Come to think it i hate more things than love.
Its okay,call me a bitter child.
Then again,i couldnt give a tiny rat's ass.
:)
Music isnt my life,my friends and family are.
Family? What is the defintion.
Give me reason to believe alot of things.
I am a vegetarian and have been for quite a while,
Cause I be loving them animals.
I am looking forward to entering further contest
consisting of art and literature.
I taught myself how to read and write in diverse
languages.
Yes,i am intact with the business of lingustics,
maybe someone can teach me something more.
I taught myself how to ride a bike,and
how to keep a hola hoop around my hips.
I learned how to become social after many years.
And its got me somewhere,even though i can be shy
in some cases.
It brings me back to the moment in elementary
where i entered one of my first contests.
I wrote a story and all,but there is always a catch isnt there?
Yes,to read it to an auditorium full of McDonald
eating,feasting of your prescence- children.
I froze up,it wasnt that astonishing that i would act that way.But i grew since that point,and i broke out of that meloncholy shell.


Im good,im good.

If you parton to ask what is of my love life?
Ive always been the hopeless romantic type.
I wouldnt say much of hopeless,but whatever way
you want to put it.
I can recall things like nobodys business.
And i will really show you i care.
If your someone I like ill take my time to glance and small at you,

[Scenario]
Smiles at you across a croweded room
just to see if you would smile back.

Please dont ask me to translate things,it gets to me.

[Ill write more soon]
<3

Its hard to think sometimes..




Is someone thinking of me?

Or am i lying to myself.
Be right back.......
going to get a blanket.
Its hella cold in my house.

[intermission]

Alrighty,im here.

Well,so i regain my thoughts.
I have second thoughts about so much.
I always have a judgement point in the
back of my head.
I get so attached to what i wish i didnt have
or become to.
When i try to forget,i remember.
But of course,i never need the pity parties.
As must,is to lay low.
I wish i could just pick up that acoustic right now
and play myself a song.
Er,well i have someone in mind who can play something for me.
Two people who promised,but im waiting

:)

bbl

Writing this down saves me the time of talking to myself.

So no Dear journal for me,
im just writing.

Im sitting here listening to one of my favourite
songs of all times.And i dont do favs,it is
Haligh,Haligh,A lie,haligh.
Have you listened to the lyrics and understood them clearly?
Ive laid awake recalling every word from this song.
"The phone slips from a loose grip
Words were missed then, some apology
I didn’t want to tell you this
No, it’s just some guy she's been hanging out with
I don’t know, the past couple weeks I guess
Well, thank you and hang up the phone
Let the funeral start
Hear the casket close
Let’s pin split-black ribbon to your overcoat
Well, laughter pours from under doors
In this house, I don’t understand that sound no more
It seems artificial, like a T.V. set

Well, haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
This weight it must be satisfied
You offer only one reply
You know not what you do
But you tear and tear your hair from roots
From that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die"

It rings in my head,and it calls me.I cant help
but wander onto extents that i seem to believe are
impossible.It expands the over confidence i sometimes
think i have.But am i?
Im just a child

living in the moment

But i want someone to share all my moments with,
to create a wish list with,
someone who isnt ashamed,
someone

"my fingers pressed onto the string,yet another
clumsy,But i talk in the mirror to the stranger that appears"

Am i really fooling myself.
These days we lack self motivation
and a vocabulary for love.


I feel im lacking..but what percisely.
I sit here over analyzing,which is a habit
of mine.
Im shivering,mother has the air conditioner on.
There "is always a dream stuck in my brain that
just wont go away"
and it is what? Around 1:36 A.M.
I dont get much sleep,i spend my time
writing,drawing,thinking,and whatever comes to mind.
This silence is soothing on my own,
but i like to share.

Love miserably,love recklessly.
Am i falling prisoner?
I'm striving to fight the feeling inside.
I'm caving into a feeling of stress and cantankerous
emotions.I seem tired and shivered of my own
acquirement.What are those acquirements?
They are what brings me to battle this feeling
of a narcassitic life.
But im a to believe that i belong to one or none?
I envy the romantic soul